Ego and Impatience

Ego and Impatience. Those are probably the two biggest detractors to great success. We think our way is the right way. That only "I" can get this done. That the numbers are wrong, and they don't represent what's really going on. And we want it now. That 2 weeks or 2 months of work is all it takes for big success. I was reminded of this tonight on my run. I'm a runner. I do triathlons but I'll always be a runner first. I have an identity around running, even an ego - though I try not to show it.

3 minutes in and my HR is 175, high zone 5. It has to be my HR strap getting a bad reading. Or because of the slush and snow is bad footing so I'm working harder. Or my already soaked and cold feet. But I slowed anyway because I believe in our training system. HR dropped some but still not into Z2. I slowed more, still not there. Finally, I walked. A runner walking. Ego. HR finally dropped into Z2 and I tried to run again. HR immediately jumps 20 beats, so I walk again. And repeat. Until my body warms up and I can get to a slow run. Slower than I've run in a long time. But that's fine because I'm also fighting an injury. For over a year. Clearly what I was doing wasn't working so I keep searching for the answer. The one trick that will help me heal. I've been getting some new treatment for the last few weeks. I'm in a lot less pain and feeling a lot stronger, hence the first run in two weeks. I'm ready to go. I really believe I've found the right treatment plan. Of course, 2 short weeks of treatment can't completely reverse a year or more of damage but I'm hopeful for a good run. And of course, it hurts way more than I think it should. It didn't feel this bad before I started. Impatience. Slowing down reduces the pain. Slowing down gives me time to listen to my body. To think. To work on better breathing and form. And then I noticed something. 2.5 miles in but I noticed.

I don't have great form. I don't really swing my arms so much as I twist my torso. Coaches have tried to get me to swing my arms, but it never really stuck.

Well, tonight my shoulders are quiet, my arms were swinging back and forth, and I was breathing with my stomach versus my ribs. All stuff that we've been working on in this new treatment. Far away from my achilles where the pain is manifesting but most certainly not the root cause. I laugh out loud at my body's ability to do what is supposed to do and giggle the last half mile home. You are not too good for anything - going slow, searching for the real cause of an issue, trying something new, stepping out of your comfort zone, challenging beliefs, doing the dirty work. Work hard and enjoy the journey. That's what makes the destination worth it.